The Character of a Leader: Walk the Talk

It’s easy to be dazzled by charisma, strategic genius, or the ability to turn a phrase so well it could butter toast. But when it comes to leadership—especially spiritual leadership—it’s not what you do in the spotlight but what you do when no one’s watching that counts. Let’s unpack:

“This is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, skillful in teaching, not overindulging in wine, not a bully, but gentle, not contentious, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into disgrace and the snare of the devil.”

1 Timothy 3:1-7 (NASB)

like we’re in a leadership workshop, but with a little more honesty and humor.

The Apostle Paul’s Checklist for Leaders

Paul wasn’t setting the bar low here. This isn’t a list of suggestions for leaders in the church; it’s a blueprint for what spiritual maturity and integrity look like in action. Let’s break it down, item by item, with a little real-world translation:

“Above reproach”
Translation: Nobody’s perfect, but your reputation should be clean enough that TMZ wouldn’t waste time on you. Being “above reproach” means living in a way that even your enemies struggle to find legitimate dirt.

“The husband of one wife”
Translation: Faithfulness is a non-negotiable. In Paul’s context, this was a pushback against both polygamy and infidelity. Today, it’s a call to integrity in all relationships, not just marriage.

“Temperate”
Translation: Keep your cool. Leaders who are hot-headed or impulsive tend to crash and burn—taking their people with them.

“Self-controlled”
Translation: No one trusts a leader who can’t say no to themselves. Whether it’s gluttony, greed, or just general messiness, lack of self-control bleeds into every decision.

“Respectable”
Translation: Don’t be that leader who can’t get it together. People are looking for someone they can follow without wondering if they’re secretly running a pyramid scheme.

“Hospitable”
Translation: Be the kind of person who shares their snacks. Hospitality is about more than hosting dinner parties; it’s about making people feel seen, valued, and welcomed.

“Skillful in teaching”
Translation: Leaders need to know what they’re talking about—and be able to share it. Paul didn’t expect flashy TED Talks but demanded clarity and wisdom.

“Not overindulging in wine”
Translation: Don’t be the drunk uncle at the family BBQ. Leaders are called to moderation in everything, and this includes alcohol (or your particular poison of choice).

“Not a bully, but gentle”
Translation: Power trips are for insecure people. Real leaders don’t crush others to feel strong; they lift others up.

“Not contentious”
Translation: Leaders who constantly pick fights end up leading nobody. Conflict happens, but stirring the pot for fun isn’t part of the job description.

“Free from the love of money”
Translation: If you’re chasing dollar signs, you’re not chasing God. Wealth isn’t evil, but worshiping it is.

“Manages his own household well”
Translation: If your own life is chaos, you’re not ready to lead others. This isn’t about perfection but about setting an example of steady, healthy leadership at home.

What Does It All Mean?

The punchline here is simple: Leadership is about character over charisma. You can be the most talented preacher, organizer, or visionary in the room, but if your moral compass is spinning like a broken clock, none of it matters.

Even Paul understood that this checklist wasn’t about perfection—it was about direction. Leaders stumble. They lose their tempers. They screw up. But their lives should reflect a steady commitment to grow in the qualities Paul listed.

Why Character Matters

When a leader fails in character, it’s like a bridge collapsing under the weight of too much traffic. People get hurt, and the whole community suffers. The fall of church leaders—whether it’s due to financial scandal, infidelity, or unchecked arrogance—is a sobering reminder of how much trust we place in leadership.

But here’s the hope: When leaders live out these qualities, they point to something bigger than themselves. Their lives become a testimony to the transforming power of God. And that’s the real point, isn’t it? It’s not about building a fanbase but about showing others what it looks like to live under God’s authority.

Real-World Applications

Let’s be honest: Paul’s checklist isn’t just for church leaders. It’s a mirror for anyone in a position of influence—parents, teachers, managers, even that guy who always gets to pick the playlist on road trips.

At work: Do you treat coworkers with respect and fairness, even when the pressure’s on?

At home: Are you leading your family with patience and integrity, or are you just winging it?

In the community: Are you known for kindness, generosity, and consistency, or are you a walking PR disaster?

Final Thoughts

Paul wasn’t asking for perfection—he was asking for intentionality. Leaders are called to “walk the talk” not because it’s easy, but because it’s necessary. When we live lives of integrity, we don’t just lead well; we reflect the character of Christ.

So, take a look at the checklist again. Where do you shine? Where do you need work? And remember: The best leaders are those humble enough to admit they’re still learning how to lead.

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB® (New American Standard Bible®), Copyright ©, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. lockman.org.