Healing is messy, complicated, and often uncomfortable. It doesn’t happen overnight, but God has provided us with a roadmap in Scripture for navigating the process. Let’s break it down step by step.

1. Acknowledge the Pain

No forgiveness happens without facing the wound head-on. Pretending it didn’t hurt? That just stuffs the problem into a closet, where it festers and grows mold. Instead, God invites us to own our pain and bring it into the light.

“If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.”
1 John 1:8 (NASB)

While this verse speaks of sin, the principle applies to pain too. Denial is a lie that traps us. Acknowledging the hurt is the first step toward freedom.

2. Choose to Forgive

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: forgiveness isn’t about feelings. It’s a deliberate act of obedience. You’re not saying, “It’s okay”; you’re saying, “I won’t let bitterness own me.”

“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
Ephesians 4:31-32 (NASB)

Jesus modeled this on the cross. Think about it: in His darkest hour, He prayed for the ones driving nails into His hands.

“But Jesus was saying, ‘Father, forgive them; they do not know what they are doing.’”
Luke 23:34 (NASB)

Forgiveness doesn’t require forgetting. It requires releasing—letting go of the poison so it doesn’t destroy you from the inside out.

3. Rebuild (if possible)

Rebuilding trust is like planting a tree. It takes patience, intentionality, and sometimes painful pruning. Reconciliation doesn’t mean going back to the way things were; it means creating something healthier and stronger.

“So if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”
Matthew 5:23-24 (NASB)

Reconciliation often requires tough conversations and clear boundaries. It’s not about blind trust—it’s about wise rebuilding, one step at a time.

4. Let God Handle the Rest

There are moments when, despite all efforts, the relationship remains fractured. That’s when you take your hands off and let God work. He specializes in restoration, even when it seems impossible.

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people.”
Romans 12:18 (NASB)

Sometimes, you’ve done all you can. At that point, surrender the situation to God. Trust that He sees the bigger picture and works in ways we can’t comprehend.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
Romans 8:28 (NASB)

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up—it means giving it to the One who can do immeasurably more than we can imagine.

What does it all mean?

Healing is a journey, not a sprint. Acknowledge the pain, choose forgiveness, rebuild where possible, and trust God with the rest. His grace is sufficient for every wound and every scar.

The Process of Healing

For a deeper understanding of the journey of healing from a Christian perspective, check out these recommended resources:

Books:

These are Amazon affiliate links for these books. We use affiliate links to offset our operating costs and help us stay online. You don’t have to use these, though; you can just search for the book. Happy reading!

• Christian Healing: A Practical & Comprehensive Guide by Mark Pearson – Offers balanced biblical teaching on physical, emotional, and spiritual healing in Christ.
• Christ the Healer by F.F. Bosworth – A classic work discussing spiritual and physical healing from a Christian perspective.

Web Resources:

• Christian Healing Ministries – A Christ-centered, ecumenical, non-profit organization dedicated to healing prayer.
• Christian Trauma Healing Network – Supports mental health professionals, pastors, and lay ministry leaders in advancing Christ-centered trauma healing.
• How Can I Be Healed? – Testimonies of individuals healed through Christian Science healing.

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB®, New American Standard Bible®, Copyright ©, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved.